


Better Safe Than Sorry

by BaraLinni



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: #PromoteSafeSex2k18, Canon Universe, Condoms, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-11
Updated: 2018-04-11
Packaged: 2019-04-21 16:10:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14288601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BaraLinni/pseuds/BaraLinni
Summary: Saïx and Xemnas are looking forward to a night together, but something is missing. Saïx must now challenge his toughest opponent yet in order to obtain his prize...





	Better Safe Than Sorry

Saïx rolled his hips against Xemnas’s, making them both let out a deep moan. He leaned down to allow them to kiss, tangling his fingers into Xemnas’s hair, while Xemnas in turn moved his hands to Saïx’s thighs, squeezing gently and murmuring something unintelligible into his mouth.

Saïx broke the kiss and pulled back enough to breathe against his chin. “What?”

“Did you bring condoms?”

It took Saix's very turned on brain a moment to process the breathless question. When it finally dawned on him, his face fell. “I’m all out, I thought you’d have some”.

Xemnas’s hands froze on the zipper to Saïx’s trousers and he looked up at Saïx, who was still hovering above him. He shook his head.

Saïx groaned in frustration and rolled off of him, reaching for his coat on the floor. He could hear Xemnas sitting up behind him and a hand grabbed his wrist.

“Are you leaving? We could do other things instead, you know”.

Saïx turned his head at Xemnas’s disappointed tone of voice and kissed him on the nose. “I’ll go buy some, we’ll need them later anyway”.

Xemnas let out an amused huff and lifted a hand to let it slide through Saïx’s hair, catching onto the ends and tugging lightly. “Are you planning on letting me sleep at all tonight?”

Saïx grinned. “Of course. You will be sleeping with me”.

Xemnas laughed and let his hand slide down to tickle at Saïx’s waist, causing Saïx to squirm away slightly. Xemnas smiled widely and continued his tickling until Saïx squeaked and nearly wriggled off the bed.

Saïx looked back at Xemnas with an affronted face. His composure cracked at Xemnas’s innocent face and he laughed as he shoved at Xemnas’s knee. “Just let me get dressed, please”. He bent down to put on his boots, very pointedly ignoring the fingers that were travelling along the small of his back, just at the waistband of his trousers.

“I could come with you”, Xemnas offered.

Saïx chuckled and straightened back up to kiss him. “It’s fine, I’ll go”. He kissed Xemnas’s chin one last time before putting on his coat - hoping that it would cover up his half-erection - and setting off on his quest.

He smiled back at Xemnas before exiting the room and then walked briskly down the empty corridors, his footsteps echoing in the silence.

Once he arrived at his destination he marched up to the one person who would save his plans for the night. “The usual, please”.

The moogle peered up at him from underneath its hood. “Oh, it’s you”.

Saïx tried not to roll his eyes impatiently. “Yes, it’s me and I would like to make a purchase”.

“Coming right up”. Seemingly out of nowhere, the moogle produced a sizeable box, decorated with a familiar design. “That’ll be 10,000 munny, kupo”.

Saïx’s jaw dropped.

Completely caught off guard, he could only squeeze out a strangled ‘what?’ as he stared at the moogle.

After a moment of silence, he finally collected himself and cleared his throat, trying to regain his practiced air of dignity. “That is way overpriced, even for you”.

The moogle gave him an unimpressed look. “If you want the wares you gotta pay, kupo. You’re lucky I’m even open at this time of night, kupo”.

Saïx was quickly becoming very annoyed. “You can't just raise the price like that!”

The moogle cocked its head and somehow managed to come across as both completely indifferent and vaguely threatening. “Look here, kupo. It’s a rich man’s world out there, I’m just trying to make a living”.

Saïx crossed his arms over his chest. “I’ll give you the usual 1,000 and not a munny more”.

“Then you’ll leave 1,000 munny poorer and without your goods”.

Saïx stared defiantly into the unwavering face of the moogle. He knew that there was no way to change its mind, but he was dead set on not going down without a fight. He ground his teeth down, setting his jaw and adopting his coldest, most authoritative glare.

The minutes stretched on. The moogle did not move a muscle, and neither did Saïx. This was a matter of patience and pride and nothing would ever sway either of them to lose.

“Am I interrupting something?”

The tension was immediately broken as Saïx and the moogle both jolted in shock. They turned in unison toward the door to see Xemnas leaning against the wall with an amused smile on his face.

When neither of them answered, Xemnas pushed off from the wall and swaggered over to put his arm around Saïx’s shoulders. “I wondered why you were taking so long”. His voice took on a colder tone as he glanced over at the moogle. “What seems to be the problem?”

The moogle showed no sign of any feeling except indifference. Its head moved slowly down and then up again, indicating that it was taking in Xemnas’s appearance. Once it spoke, its voice bore a judgemental edge. “Are you wearing anything under that coat, kupo?”

Xemnas met its eyes calmly and raised an eyebrow. “Are you?”

“Touché”.

Xemnas pointedly looked at the much sought-after box and then at the moogle, who somehow gave off the air of crossing its arms even though that was physically impossible for it to do.

“That’ll be 10,000 munny, kupo”.

“I’ll pay 1,000”.

The moogle let out a wobbly whoop that sounded like a chuckle. “Your friend already tried that, kupo. 10,000 or you go empty-handed”.

Saïx kept his face a stoic mask, but mentally rolled his eyes and sighed, just about ready to finally give up.

Xemnas, however, pulled his lips into an unnerving smile. “How about 1,000 or I turn you into a Dusk?”

The moogle froze for just a fraction of a second before it regained its composure. “You wouldn’t do that, kupo. You couldn’t”.

Xemnas held its gaze steadily. “Do you want to risk it?”

The moogle seemed taken aback by that. It cocked its head and appeared to consider its options while studying Xemnas’s face, looking for any sign that he was lying.

After a long moment of silence, it finally relented. “Okay, kupo, you know what? I’m feeling somewhat charitable tonight. 1,000 munny and it’s yours, kupo”.

Saïx almost sighed with relief as he presented the munny and practically snatched the box from the moogle, afraid that it would change its mind. _Victory at last._

The moogle looked defeated and Xemnas, of course, couldn’t help but rub it in.

“Thank you”, he rumbled while he adopted that same unnerving smile again. “You made the right choice”.

The moogle swiveled its head nervously and Saïx bumped his hip into Xemnas’s to signal that he was eternally thankful but it was time to go. After all, he had plans for the night.

In complete sync, Saïx and Xemnas turned and walked out of the Grey area, Xemnas’s arm still over Saïx’s shoulders. Once they were out of earshot, Saïx glanced at Xemnas and couldn’t help but laugh. “I’m lucky to have a man who is that adept at price haggling for condoms”.

Xemnas snorted. “Good to know that I’m useful for something”.

Saïx bumped their hips together again. “It is your single most redeeming quality”. Then he frowned and raised an eyebrow. “Even if it were possible, you wouldn’t really have turned it into a Dusk, would you?”

Xemnas laughed. “Never. That’s the only moogle that sells the banana flavoured ones”. He hugged Saïx closer. “And I know that’s your favourite”.

Saïx smiled and clutched the box to his chest. “You know me so well”.

**Author's Note:**

> They are adults who know how to stay safe and avoid Sexually Transmitted Xehanorts. Don't be silly, wrap your willy!


End file.
